Animal Farm

We are in Southern France, ensconced in a lovely villa not far from the Pyrenees Mountains. From one window we can see the Mediterranean Sea, from another, Mount Canigou and its snow-topped peaks. It is lovely in the sunshine, unbelievably lovely.

We are housesitting for friends who acquired a used ambulance, filled it with clothing, blankets, and medical supplies, and departed for the mountains of Moracco where they will deliver supplies and goodwill from village to village. They've left us in charge of their hearth and home...and their pets.

Our days are now centered around these creatures, some I really like and some I tolerate. None are bad sorts. I just am a dog person and can't quite warm up to pigs. But I get ahead of myself.

The daily instructions are easy: Lead the horses to the pasture. Feed the pig. Feed the seven feral cats. Feed the three German/Belgian Shepherd dogs. Walk the dogs. Lead the horses to the barn. Feed the horses. Feed the pig. Feed the seven feral cats.

What I didn't expect were the complexities involved: The cats' food has to be softened because the kittens are so small. The dogs need to walk in the neighboring vineyard so they can enjoy eating the remaining grapes. The pig eats nearly any leftovers, and if you do not have leftovers for her, you must shop for leftovers. The horses prefer their feed softened and their hay a mixture of dry and damp. The pig enjoys a sprinkling of the horses' feed atop her leftovers in the evenings. The horses expect an apple before supper.

So here I am in beautiful Southern France, basking in the sunshine, and playing European Farm Lady.

And feeling mighty sporty in my blue wellies!

Step 1:  Halters On

        

          Step 2:  Lead Horses to Pasture

Step 3:  Celebrate Completion of Step 2
(Don't Forget to Look at Mountains!)

Step 4:  Put Horse Feed in
Bucket For Evening Feeding

Step 5:  Add Water to Bucket
To Soften Feed

Step 6:  Call Pig

Step 7:  Feed Pig But
DO NOT
Watch Her Eat!

Step 8: Bond With Pig (Avoid Expressions
Like "Fatty Face" and "Cloven Hoof Mama"
Which She Hates)

Step 10:  Call Dogs for Walk
(Step 9 is Feed Cats, But
Does Anyone Really Care?)

Step 11:  Avoid Placing Self
Between Grapes and Canine Jaws

Step 12: Off With the Wellies,
On With the Shoes

Step 13: Buy Leftovers for Pig
(Wear Disguise To Avoid Arrest
Because What Sane Person Would Buy Potato
Flakes in FRANCE???)